The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere: Updated

Sundance at Conservative Treehouse has updated Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's classic Paul Revere's Ride:

  

Listen my children and you shall hear

Of the consequence of a rational fear,

Through the days of October, in Twenty-Sixteen;

Hardly a man remains to be seen

Who remembers those famous days that year.

One man gave rise to corruptions’ removal

With steadfast admonishment despite their refusal

Held the Q-beam aloft and lighted their ruse

A billionaire walked in the average man’s shoes;

Elitists decried the demands to step down

As the rallies continued in village and town;

Admonished and more they were labeled deplorable

Yet the strong brilliant faces were simply adorable.

“How dare you to challenge”, snooty voices decried

Staying strong in the falsehood, retaining their lie;

Looming faces returned were both stoic and bold

“Is that all you have” the firm patriots told.

A weaponized congress, an unchecked regime

Continuing hard with their pillage and scheme;

“How dare you to challenge”, they shouted yet louder

Ignoring their place and their fate from dry powder,

“No longer your House”, their words seemed to scream

Forgetting their stewardship of America’s dream.

The horizon soon filled with a most monstrous sight,

A trumpeters call was heard all through the night.

Beyond scale, beyond scope, was the size of the crew

An unwashed arrival in plain well-worn shoe;

“Who can these folks be” the elitist’s decried,

These faces, these creatures, attacking our pride.

“Did you tell them their place is not ever near here?”

One well cultured leader remarkably sneered;

How dare they advance, this vulgarian team –

How dare they to challenge our most glorious scheme.

Yet advance they continued, the patriots all

Through the door, down the course and amid every hall;

“There are simply too many”, the palace guards fret,

Seeming silly not to notice the foregrounds Trump jet.

“Call to Ryan, or McConnell, Ms. Pelosi or Reid”,

These vulgarian hordes are dismounting their steed;

“We cannot let them stay”, a gulping voice muttered,

“Well then you tell them that”, a retreating voice stuttered.

As the voters then swarm through the well marbled halls,

The scope of indulgence leaves no-one enthralled;

Outrageous expenses turn stares into rage,

We’ve paid for a theater complete with a stage?

The silver adornments, mahogany desks,

the visual sense of comeuppance expressed.

How hoighty and arrogant the inhabitants became,

Oblivious all to the sense of their shame.

This grandiose mess is just why we are here,

Spending on foolishness, yet how you sneer.

Indeed you may spite us, and hate our appearance,

But our livelihood’s effort demands your adherence.

When you dismiss our values amid all your spending

You leave us no option, than to take over the mending.

When you contract our soil to the nations that hate,

It is our call to arms that controls our own fate.

When you sell out our efforts, then line your own pocket

We will move using recourse, and put your ass on the docket.

When you ignore us so much that you lie and you steal,

We will show up writ large and then force a repeal.

When your Jonathan Gruber can scheme with a grin,

Don’t blame us for arriving, that’s just where we begin.

If you think for a moment our resolve isn’t strong

Consider our leader, and you’ll know you are wrong.

Trump’s not the teleprompter tactician with prose,

He’s our glorious bastard who thinks on his toes.

Our leader may not be refined, or PC,

But for many of us, well, he’s just like me.

A man never wanting to run for these stakes,

Is exactly the type who can deal with these snakes.

We wouldn’t be here if you’d just done your jobs,

And stopped being a bunch of industrious snobs.

Your DC led schemes have our nation a mess

Embattled, worn out and fraught with distress.

Because of your efforts she’s tattered and torn,

One man has stood up to respond to the horn.

Donald Trump isn’t perfect, heck he’s far from that place,

But nobody else is as right in this race.

There’s another thing known about our candidate true,

It’s that none is more openly Red White and Blue.

He may not be the one who we needed before,

But Lord knows we need him – right now, even more.

~Sundance

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