Ramirez cartoon credit: rightwingnews.com
Apparently,
John Kasich and Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) are at their most appealing
when no one is paying attention to them, which, conveniently, is most of the
time.
. . .
Listening to
Cruz always makes me feel like I have Asperger’s. He speaks so slowly, my mind
wanders between words. As Trump said, there’s a 10-second intermission between
sentences. I want to order Cruz’s speeches as Amazon Audibles, just so I can
speed them up and see what he’s saying.
The guy did go
to Harvard Law School, so I keep waiting for the flashes of brilliance, but
they never come. Cruz is completely incapable of extemporaneous wit.
Now that Cruz
has been mathematically eliminated, he’s adding Carly Fiorina to the ticket.
She’s not his “running mate,” but his “limping mate.” It’s an all-around
lemon-eating contest.
. . .
Kasich
is constantly proclaiming that illegals are “made in the image of God,” and
denounces the idea of enforcing federal immigration laws, saying: “I don’t
think it’s right; I don’t think it’s humane.”
When
asked about his decision to expand Medicaid under Obamacare — projected to cost
federal taxpayers $50 billion in the first decade — he said: “Now, when you die
and get to the, get to the, uh, to the meeting with St. Peter … he’s going to
ask you what you did for the poor. Better have a good answer.”
He
lectured a crowd of fiscal conservatives on his Obamacare expansion, saying,
“Now, I don’t know whether you ever read Matthew 25, but I commend it to you,
the end of it, about do you feed the homeless and do you clothe the poor.” He
also attributed the law to Chief Justice John Roberts and said, “It’s my money,
OK?”
Voters
thought they were getting a less attractive version of Mitt Romney with Kasich,
but it turns out they’re getting a more televangelist version of Ted Cruz.
They’re
also getting a less warm and personable version of Hillary Clinton. Last week,
Kasich lashed out at a reporter who asked a perfectly appropriate question,
going from boring campaign boilerplate to irritated browbeating in about one
second flat. As much as I enjoy watching reporters being berated, this was
deranged.
Kasich:
Listen, at the end of the day I think the Republican Party wants to pick
somebody who actually can win in the fall.”
Reporter:
But if you’ve only won Ohio?
Kasich:
“Can I finish?”
Reporter:
“If you answer the ques–”
Kasich:
“I’m answering the question the way I want to answer it. You want to answer
it?” (Snatches voice recorder from reporter’s hand.) “Here,
let me ask you. What do you think?
When
giving a speech to Ohio EPA workers a few years ago, Kasich suddenly went off
topic and began shouting about a police officer who had given him a ticket
three years earlier. “Have you ever been stopped by a police officer that’s
an idiot?” he began. He proceeded to tell the riveting story
of his traffic violation to the EPA administrators, yelling about “this idiot! …
He’s an IDIOT!”
Based
on the dashcam video immediately released by the police, Kasich had been in the
wrong, and the officer — you know, “the IDIOT” — was perfectly polite about it.
. . .
Ironically,
it’s Kasich who has been complaining the loudest about the alleged billions of
dollars of “free media” Trump has been getting. It turns out not getting “free
media” was a godsend for Kasich and Cruz.
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