Yesterday, The Babylon Bee knocked another one out of the park:
Democrats Argue That Clarence
Thomas
Should Only Have 3/5 Of A Vote
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats in D.C.
have lashed out at Justice Clarence Thomas following his vote to overturn Roe
v. Wade, arguing that he should only get 3/5 of a vote in the Supreme Court.
"This is an illegitimate
vote!" shouted AOC to protesters gathered in front of the Supreme Court
Building. "Three Justices lied during their appointment hearings—so their
votes don't count—and Clarence Thomas should only get 3/5 of a vote. That means
Roe was overturned by a vote of 3 to 2 3/5! That's crazy!"
Democrats say they are proposing
this historic compromise to restore public trust in the Supreme Court. They
argue that since Clarence Thomas is bad, he should have 2/5ths of his vote
removed.
"This is what must be done to
restore confidence in our democracy," said Senator Chuck Schumer.
At publishing time, Sen Elizabeth
Warren had fallen uncharacteristically quiet on the issue. According to
sources, she's concerned someone will bring up her Native American heritage and
she'll lose a vote in the senate.
A brief summary of the "3/5 compromise," as recited in the US
Constitution, is here.
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