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Showing posts with label armor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label armor. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Justice Brett Kavanaugh: fashion trend-setter


Their motto: "Fake News You Can Trust."  The Babylon Bee knocks it out of the park again:

Brett Kavanaugh Unveils Updated Supreme Court Robe

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh made a splash in the fashion world Wednesday as he unveiled a new Kevlar judicial robe made by Atomic Defense. A spokesman confirmed the new robe was totally unrelated to recent threats made upon the justice’s life in the wake of an upcoming ruling on abortion rights. 

. . .

In addition to a stylish, slimming look, Kavanaugh’s robe comes with three articulated blast plates, a shockproof helmet and visor, and a zoned armor system guaranteed to meet or exceed current zonal fragmentation protection standards. 

. . .

In unrelated news, Kavanaugh confirmed that his family would be moving from their current home in Chevy Chase, MD to an abandoned underground missile silo somewhere in the Midwest in order to pursue their family dream of not being murdered in their sleep.  

The rest of the text is here.  

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